What am I holding on to? I’m not sure anymore.

I held on to a future that, in hindsight, might have been doomed from the start.

I held on to a person I thought could help build that future with me.

I clung to the ideas and values I believed we shared.

But now, I’m questioning everything.

It feels like one of those endless riddles—the chicken or the egg.

Should I define my ideals, my values, my vision of life first,

and then seek someone who aligns with them?

Or do I find someone first,

and together create those ideals as we go?

I don’t have the answer.

What I do know is that, for now, there’s only one path forward.

I need to focus on myself.

I need to explore who I am and what I value,

to step away from the familiar roads,

the ones I’ve walked so often and the ones others have always taken.

It’s time to try something new.